Thursday, December 11, 2008

Tough Love




All discipline for the moment seems not to be joyful, but sorrowful;
yet to those who have been trained by it,
afterwards it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness.
Hebrews 12:11


I just discovered the root word for discipline is disciple.

Hebrews chapter twelve has significantly impacted both my spiritual walk and my work in Children's Ministry. Since I consider myself to be a disciple of Jesus Christ, I feel obligated to subject myself to His loving discipline and correction. I say "obligated", because it's not exactly the easiest thing in the world to do, yet I know the end result is "the peaceful fruit of righteousness". Unfortunately, the truth is often difficult to hear. Without God's loving correction, I would be living a lie - which is equally unappealing to me. Previously, "discipleship" had positive associations for me while "discipline" had negative connotations. I am learning that good discipline equals true discipleship.

This is what I have learned so far and how it's connected to scripture:

  • Discipline is often synonymous with punishment. But, they are not the same.
"God disciplines us to help us, so we can become holy as he is."
Hebrews 12:10b

  • Good discipline is guidance towards right behavior. The purpose is not to shame or blame, but to show us God's loving concern.
"FOR THOSE WHOM THE LORD LOVES HE DISCIPLINES, AND HE SCOURGES EVERY SON WHOM HE RECEIVES."
Hebrews 12:6


So what does this have to do with Children's Ministry?

Changing the way I view and receive correction from the Lord has impacted the way I choose to redirect children in Sunday school. Despite our felt board Jesus and glow-in-the-dark stickers, Children's Ministry is not always rainbows and butterflies. Surprise, surprise: every Sunday I deal with behavioral issues. In general, there are a variety of reasons for why children act up. It's possible their emotional or physical needs have not been met or their rules at home are different from Sunday school. Other reasons include boredom, frustration, or displaced anger. Although I wish I could say children in our Sunday school never deal with these types of issues, I cannot. Thankfully, I am not the only teacher who has ever encountered this dilemma. Similar to my experience, trained, professional teachers rank discipline as the most often dealt with problem in their classrooms. (Sept., 1996 Gallup Poll)

Regardless of the reasons behind a child's misbehavior , my job is to counter poor behavior with loving concern. Although it is tempting to make a quick fix on Sunday mornings, I know in the long run it is more beneficial for the kids to carefully address behavioral problems. Time spent in training and correction is always well-spent.


So, what's the bottom line?

My attitude and outlook on this issue has shifted - - Consistent, careful discipline is actually discipleship. After making the connection between my spiritual walk and kids' misbehavior in Sunday school, it's much easier for me to remember "always redirect kids out of loving concern", instead of impatience or frustration.

Despite my daily sins and poor behavior, I'm thankful God continues to
disciple me through His loving discipline.


3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Good word. I think the key is that discipline is teaching, punishment is punitive. God doesn't discipline us in a punitive way, He finished that with Jesus. I definitely agree with you that discipline is a huge process in the discipleship process of kids, but only in such a way that it reflects the kind of discipline that God shows us. It saddens me that so many Christian parents do not use Gospel-centered methods and philosophies of disciplining their kids. Too often it is for the quick-fix and immediate compliance rather than long-term fruit from the kind of gentleness and grace that Jesus offers us as discipline.

Sam Jurekovic said...

yay you have a new post...you really should blog more you know. I feel really blessed to have a dad who did a very good job disciplining me. When I blatantly disobeyed him(talking back, lying, whatever) he would spank me. Before he would spank me he would always tell me, "Sam this actually hurts me more than it hurts you." Then he would spank me and give me a big hug afterwards and tell me he loved me. I know he never did it out of anger. I am sure I will discipline my kids the same way.

Rachel said...

Very thoughtful Ti. You are a woman of wisdom. i love you!